The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon: I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.
Leonard: Must we?--
Sheldon: Event A. A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. Event B. We drive half way across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend. Query? On what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?
Leonard: She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Ah, yes, well--that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.
Leonard: Which is?
Sheldon: You think with your penis.
Leonard: That's a biological impossibility and you didn't have to come.
Sheldon: Oh, right, yes--I could have stayed behind and watched Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic, and Farsi. Why can't she get her own TV?
Leonard: Come on, you know how it is with break-ups?
Sheldon: No I don't. And neither do you.
Leonard: Bu-I… I broke up with Joyce Kim.
Sheldon: You did not break up with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
Leonard: (defensively) To mend her broken heart. This situation is much less complicated. There's some kind of dispute between Penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV. She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.
Sheldon: So we get to have a scene with him?

Leonard: No--Sheldon, there's not going to be a scene. There's two of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.